QUESTION: I'm looking for advice, and truth, about the potential challenges of dating someone who has formerly struggled with substance abuse.
This person is a missionary with an organization that sent him overseas to serve in the area of recovery from abuse & addictions; the same program he went through in his home country.
Therefore, I know that he has shown leadership qualities and is trusted by other Christians who know him well.
I have a lot of respect for him, but am curious about what impact his experience could have on a relationship.
The simplest approach to avoid this problem is to continue to use the Facebook app but not use the in-app browser.
The problems that typically plague standard relationships, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create an almost impenetrable barrier in the relationship.
Healthy Recovery, Healthy Relationships Most recovering addicts aren’t strangers to therapy and, as a result, have spent a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships.
They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others.
HE SAID: I don’t have any professional or direct experience with substance abuse except for knowing some who have struggled in the past, and what I have learned from those few encounters was, addictions don’t ever “go away,” but are a constant daily battle to overcome.
What he had instead was a futon mattress laying on the floor, upon which dust balls would find their way, sticking to the corners. It crept up on me, as I was a naïve and unaware kid.
Whenever he’d have “visitors”, he would fold up this mattress, resting half of it against the wall, building a makeshift couch. Four years my senior, I met him while we were baking pizzas in a small shop in the suburbs.
After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.
Then they drop a bomb: “I used to be a drug addict.” They may as well have said, “I’m married.” But does one partner being in recovery automatically spell doom for a relationship?